3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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