shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
