I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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