he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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