I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
