Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize