That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
