you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
