At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
