God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
