If you die in college, do you die in real life?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
