ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
