this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
