carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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