stop calling my apartment porn island.
either way he was missing a nipple.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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