You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
