Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
