her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
