Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
