yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
