Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
