I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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