If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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