And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
