Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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