i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Two words: blizzard sex
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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