We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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