so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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