there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
