Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
