PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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