your parents love me but you hate me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How does one acquire holy water?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
