We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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