It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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