i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
