I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
