plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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