I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
