I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
