Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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