yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
