Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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