I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
