I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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