She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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