Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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