Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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