Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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