I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
