This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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