i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
