i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize