return my video game
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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