No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
