why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
