You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
