I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
