I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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