I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
